Memory Loss/Memory of Loss

There’s some stranger in the mirror,
bears the scars of my forgotten past.
Try to frame photos with imagination
but is it fact or fiction I grasped?
And old friends forget to remember
the way to make our friendship last.
Forced to face my blank expressions
till their caring faces collapsed.

My wife who lies lovingly beside me,
tries to remind of something soft I said.
But my heart has ceased its beating,
there’s these holes of her in my head.
Can I even believe what she’s saying,
who is this woman waiting in my bed?
Should I stay with her regardless,
should I start something new instead?

If the walls could only talk too,
if they had a hundred eyes to see,
I would ask them for directions
to find all the lost pieces of me.
But blank walls just keep on closing,
leaving no space for me to be.
If ignorance is so blissful
then why aren’t I feeling free?

Some small murky patches I clung to
all merge to form a soiled stain.
Is it all better off left forgotten,
would the blanks be filled with pain?
All my words written to remember,
fearful for I may forget once again.
Yet will words bring back my memory
or fall lost like tears in the rain?

There was this last line I longed to tell you,
it was – – –

Copyright © 2015 Philip Craddock. All rights reserved.

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2 thoughts on “Memory Loss/Memory of Loss

    1. Thanks for your feedback. 🙂 Although not quite as extreme as the example in this poem, I’ve had a bit of both going on. Due to dyspraxia, my memory works in an…interesting way and my childhood and teen memories in particular are filled with more blanks than most people have. And there was this fear of “What if it happens again? What if I reach my 40s and can barely remember my 30s?” etc.

      Also, just like you described there are memories I have that I wish I’d forgotten…and there are other memories which I pretend to have forgotten even though they’re still up there really. So though this poem is a work of fiction, there’s enough splashes of honesty in it for it to ring true enough for me to be satisfied with it.

      So…since you’ve had a more bitter tasting one, here’s two more options for something sweet to act as a chaser for it when you next feel like reading one:

      1) Weeping Willow & the Wood Witch (Synopsis: A rhyming children’s story book written for my daughter. Will be giving it to her on her birthday in September once I’ve illustrated it. My twist on the old fairy tale stories such as Hansel and Gretel). https://philipcraddockwriter.wordpress.com/2015/06/07/weeping-willow-and-the-wood-witch/

      2) Believe in Fairies (Synopsis: Sticking with the daughter-inspired theme, a short story inspired by something I actually did with my daughter one day: turning a “boring walk” into something much more magical). https://philipcraddockwriter.wordpress.com/2015/05/25/believe-in-fairies/

      Liked by 1 person

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