There is this creature, lives inside my head.
Formed from every ugly untruth they said.
I made fatal mistake: I listened & believed,
till every slander smothered & it hurt when I breathed.
The creature first found me when I was most alone,
hissing: “They’re right! We’re bad to the bone.”
We stared daggers at the tormentors, they tormented no more.
Still I heard the creature hissing: “We’re who they abhore”.
It tempted me to terrorise them, give reason to be afraid,
to yell “Look on this monster! This creature you made!”
I soothed the creature, said sweetly “Shh…be still.
There’ll be bigger battles, more worthy foes to kill”.
Sometimes the creature was my nemesis with hate to send.
Other days it seemed the creature was my one true friend.
It lent me its strength when there were enemies to rend,
hissing “I’ll always be with you, on this you can depend”.
I learned to control the creature, it lived in a cage,
screaming “Let me out! Let them all feel my rage!”
Over time this hateful creature which hung in cage above
came hissing again, saying “Lonely! Find someone to love.”
Should I find a woman who was equally broke,
who lived with the pain until it made her choke?
We’d both unleash our creatures & take them for a walk,
make love loud like wild animals & let the neighbours talk.
Or should I wait for a love so strong & equally pure,
which would never be acceptance but may be the cure?
Who would focus on all I did which she felt was right,
then banish the creature with kisses & her healing light?
Or will I find love lying somewhere between the two?
With a woman neither all black nor white but a lot like you?
We would accept every fault, maybe even love the flaws.
Be both hugs and kisses and occasionally the claws.
Can creature disappear or should I leave it be?
Am I this creature and is this creature me?
Copyright © 2015 Philip Craddock. All rights reserved.