The Usual Suspect – for Blackheart111

Following my most recent APED challenge, I joked with Blackheart111 that my poem may have been much happier if the chosen words were “candyfloss”, “kittens”and “rainbows”.

Blackheart111 added “fluffy”, “pink” and “clouds” to the list and I decided rather than leaving it as a joke, I’d write it and let Blackheart111 pick the mood. The chosen mood was a sad one, so here it is…my sad kitten poem. A black vein of humour runs through this poem for those of you of the right frame of mind to see it. Any more requests?

    The Usual Suspect

I wore black and white makeup
before The Crow made it cool.
She was a sweetheart
who royally ruled our school.
Never thought we would mix,
yet what did I see?
A pretty pink princess
smiling straight at me.

In the dark side of the school field
where I usually stood alone,
she sucked my finger slowly
and began to moan.
Then she smiled again
after that sensual surprise,
held my hand gently
and fluttered her eyes.

She said “You’re my boyfriend
but most secretly!
Please find a cute kitten
and bring it to me.
I know it is strange
my pussy request
but if you do so
you can touch my right breast”.

With a quick kiss
our deal was struck.
I walked away elated,
barely believed my luck.
I had been the black,
death and funeral shrouds.
Yet now I saw rainbows
and fluffy candyfloss clouds.

The very next day
(please don’t ask how),
I brought her a kitten,
she said “Give it me now!”
Of all the kittens
he had been the runt.
I looked at my girl
and imagined her glee.

I handed her the kitten
and a sweet “Love you” note.
She read it so swiftly
then wrung her cat’s throat.
I couldn’t believe it,
it was as a horrible dream!
She threw it at me
then began to scream.

She shrieked “Help me!
Look what this freak’s done!”
Fear gripped me then,
so I started to run.
Chased by the popular pack,
gone was the hope, the laugh.
I had given my heart
to a pretty pink psychopath.

Copyright © 2015 Philip Craddock. All rights reserved.

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5 thoughts on “The Usual Suspect – for Blackheart111

    1. You’re welcome. 🙂 Pleased you like it. Intentionally used a lot of black humour for this one…something told me that you’d get it. 😉

      If I was aiming for full on maudlin rather than black humour, I may not have rhymed “runt” with “glee”…

      Liked by 1 person

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