APED #21 – Narcissus Reborn

Today’s “A Prompt Each Day” Challenge was set by Sumnayna. Here it is:

stc3sumnayna

I had planned on reblogging one of Narcissus101’s poems next Wednesday and urging you to read some of her poetry then but I guess there’s no time like the present. This poem actually draws on her two previous APED pieces rather than just the one called on by the challenge, as they very much seemed to be a part of the same series and to ignore the earlier poem would be doing a disservice to the overall story. So, my poem borrows elements from “My Life After You” and “Betrayal“. Inspired by the username Narcissus101, it also draws a bit from the myth of Narcissus. In the myth Narcissus is a male but I switched it to female for this story to match Narcissus101.

Anyway…I urge you to not only read those two poems by Narcissus101 but to look back through her others also. Whilst there is a sadness to them all, there’s also an undeniable beauty to them and some of the imagery she uses is wonderful.

Narcissus101 – if your poems were too personal and you would have preferred it if I hadn’t been inspired by them and your username to write this rhyme then please do just say the word and I will delete it from my site. The last thing I want is to make you feel uncomfortable.

Narcissus Reborn 

Narcissus wept 101 tears no one could see,
deep under the river made of her misery.
Weighed by lies, burdened by betrayal,
twas a most sorrowful start to our tale.

Riverbed black and Narcissus so blue,
mourned the ghost of a love she once knew.
Some still swear that this was her end,
forgetting the hope a stranger can send.

Up by the riverbank, he walked with woe,
then stared down darkly at the river below.
Looking deep into that most mournful place,
his eyes beheld beauty of Narcissus’ face.

The greens of her eyes, the reds of her lips,
beauty so strong even sorrow couldn’t eclipse.
He left behind demons – he’d need them no more
and dove down to the woman on the watery floor.

Down to the depths the stranger did swim,
as the echoes of her heart called unto him.
Saw how she suffered, struggling to breathe.
He held her hand, his eyes begged “Believe”.

Together they tried to break woe’s rusty chain,
as dawn turned to dusk and then to dawn again.
Blow after blow they reigned on that cold steel,
battled betrayal and lies with hope and the real.

Finally sorrow screamed: “I surrender to thee!”
It released Narcissus and so she swam free.
Upwards ever upwards, still holding his hand.
Left the river behind and stood on dry land.

Droplets of hope hung to them as dewdrops on leaves,
she sneezed once and shook the river from her sleeves.
Shedding shadows, leaving loss, through meadows they’ll run
travelling together with smiling satyrs under an endless sun.

Copyright © 2015 Philip Craddock. All rights reserved.

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15 thoughts on “APED #21 – Narcissus Reborn

  1. Assuming that it’s not my work that inspired you I would say,,,,,you are an amazing amazing poet, the way you added the username is a sign of creative genius, (Btw I am jealous cause yours gonna be better than mine,lol)…..xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your feedback. 🙂 Happy that you liked it so much considering you were the main person I wrote this one for and everybody else was a bonus. 😉 Sorry I didn’t respond sooner – Askimet is clearly an idiot as it automatically put your two comments in the Spam queue. 😛

      Hmm…don’t really feel we’ll be able to say which of our poems are better or worse as we have very different styles, so tough to compare the two. I like your style anyway and sure that whatever you write will be good and I look forward to reading it.

      If ever you would like my opinion on a piece of writing you’ve not uploaded to your site yet (or if you just fancied a chat – chatting is always good), feel free to reach out to me via either the Contact the Author form on my site or the Facebook page I’ve linked to my website. Studied Imaginative Writing at university and would be happy to offer some constructive criticism if you were open to that.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s horrible but I haven’t started yet. Just finished last prompt yesterday. Weekends are busy at my house! Going to start later today . . . I hope.

        Like

    1. Know the feeling…I work 2 jobs (fun ones at least…one client is a games company & the other a TV social network) & I’m currently the main carer for our daughter. At least working from home & sleeping poorly frees up some time to write. I also tend to try and make time as soon as these challenges crop up, as otherwise fear it’ll never happen.

      Like

    1. Thank you for taking the time to read, Like & comment. 🙂 Pleased you like it. As me writing it gave Narcissus101 a moment of happiness & it gave you some hope, it was definitely worth the time it took to write it.

      Will try getting back to writing again soon. My head was messy following an incident with my wife last week & harder to write like that. Some days I wish I’d thought the anonymous route was viable so I could talk openly about things rather than being guarded & leaving clues in my writing. Oh well.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sorry to hear. I understand it’s hard to write when things are difficult — and even worse sometimes not to be able to write when they are difficult. In the mean time, will look for the clues.

        “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” –Hemingway

        Liked by 1 person

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