You once called it “brain fog” and I suppose that it may be true.
Though cloaked in mist I still resist losing first memory of you.
Never before or since had I seen any beauty which could compare.
That’s how I like to remember – you may know, as you were there.
I stood there subtly shaking, shyly straining: ‘Slowly. Breathe.’
Feeling far from confident but desperately wanting to believe.
Standing before a gorgeous geeky goddess, as nervous as could be.
Did you truly want to spend some time with someone strange like me?
A year has passed since first date, since first flutter of fear.
Miraculously you’re still with me; smile sweetly, hold me near.
Afraid I cannot recall each every day that passed in-between.
Cannot reminisce on everything we’ve heard, smelled or seen.
Nor can I now tell you even what we discussed a few weeks ago.
At the time it seemed important – of this you’re sure you know.
I can tell you I truly love you, still say sincerely how I feel,
still store some soft focus memories on my dusty highlights reel.
I remember the night we first made love, lying upon a fresh made bed.
Remember rosy red lips and dress, though not a word of what we said.
We moved so slow & tender – I’d taken you to the theatre that night.
Wined & dined & then reclined, had hoped to make first time feel right.
It was as good for you as it was for me – well, that’s how I now recall.
You say it was so when I ask you now and you were there too after all.
Perhaps we should stage a reenactment, to jog memory and be sure?
You smile and say you are ready; we head upstairs for our encore.
I remember too the first time that I unintentionally made you cry.
The tears tumbled down as raindrops – though I can’t recall now why.
I just remember my heart aching as you sat sobbing in such sad pain,
wishing desperately that I’d never ever make you feel such pain again.
I wrapped my arms around you, whispered words sugar sweet, each true.
My eyes embraced yours, enchanted; and so soon I sat crying too.
I’m sorry for whatever it was which I said or did to you that day.
Yet can’t conjure up what that was – my memory’s been washed away.
I still hope to be with you forever and to forever love you true.
Making many misty Monday morning memories…
…a lifetime lived with you.
Copyright © 2016 Philip Craddock. All rights reserved.