Neurodivergent Island

Ever since I was a boy
I’ve been told I’m wrong
singing out of key some
too different song.
Try to fit me in
but before too long
I’ll fuck it up around you.

Got me overthinking
every single step I take.
Straighten up that back
until you hear it break.
People don’t want
to know you’re fake.
Lie normal a little harder.

Got me spacing out
every single word I say.
But those that hear
won’t understand any way.
Try to think things to
make it different today
but old enough to know better.

Maybe if I’m silent they
won’t know I’m here?
Silence scares them too,
so should I disappear?
Can’t stand to be alone,
because then I’ll hear
them taunting once again.

Got this tunnel vision
to fuck up one at a time.
My million mistakes may
as well form a line.
Got to be an answer at
the bottom of this wine
or a way to drown it out?

Maybe it’ll be better
if I laugh at myself first?
Heard them all before
as you do your worst.
Maybe I’m not different,
just “abnormally cursed”?
So should I spell it
out now for you?

So she’d got me saying sorry
for the touch of her fist.
Must of been my fault for
something “simple” missed.
Knew I should go but
who else’d want “this?”
So lied a little longer.

Finally free from her,
only took twelve years.
Maybe I’ll do better
if I hide those tears?
Maybe love may still
overcome my fears
as trauma takes a toll.

Drown me in my sleep.
Too many rules to keep.
Flail in waters deep.
Castaway at sea,
is there a place for me,
on Neurodivergent Island?