Author’s Note 3 – Phoebe & M.E (plus “In the Darkened Room”)

It’s rare for me to write author’s notes and rarer still for me to write introductions prior to adding a poem or a story to my site. The first time I added an introduction to a poem on my site was for the poem “Sleeping Beauty & M.E“, which is still my girlfriend Phoebe’s favourite poem on my site. It is a love poem which embraces and romanticises what she sees as the least romantic aspect of herself – her M.E. I added that introduction partly as M.E is still one of the most misunderstood conditions and so an explanation seemed justified. It was also done as a part of my fund raising campaign for the Bristol-Bath Marathon for the charity Action For M.E (thankfully I finished the marathon).

For decades some branded those with M.E as being “chronically lazy”, which understandably is rather upsetting to those who suffer with it. Phoebe has described the tiredness she feels due to M.E as not like a normal tiredness but closer to a “flu-like malaise” and tiredness is just one aspect of it. Others include hypersensitivity to light, noise and food intolerances. Sleeping Beauty & M.E focused on the tiredness. The poem following this long intro will primarily focus on the hypersensitivity to light and the times where it affects her so much that we sit in a darkened room together.

Phoebe is keen though to not just be defined by her M.E, so here’s a little more about her prior to the poem. She is intelligent, compassionate, funny and beautiful. She has inspired poems of a sexual nature such as “Stripped” and “Seabed” because I find her to be incredibly sexy. She has been featured as the happy ending and the light at the end of a very dark tunnel in poems such as “Running Man: Love & Other Marathons” & “Live Again” because as much as I do look after and care for her, in other ways she looks after and cares for me just as much. I feel very lucky to be her boyfriend and I believe she will continue to be an inspiration for much of my writing for many years to come.

I hope that the level of love I feel for her does come across in my poetry. I also hope that you enjoy reading the poem that follows this introduction. For now it is just a rough draft. I’ll edit it tomorrow after I’ve slept.

In the Darkened Room

Side by side in the darkened room,
I strain to see her sweet smile.
Hold her close to feel her love
and also warm her for a while.
Outside the sun could sing,
cars croon or parrots purr
and I’d still sooner sit here
in the darkened room with her.

Side by side in the darkened room
lips fumble, finally find each other.
My hands explore, discover & adore
all of my most extraordinary lover.
Outside creative cows could fly
or dotty dalmatians disco dance.
Still I’d sooner stay with her
in this loving, tender trance.

If I could I would help her heal,
would wish to take her hurt away.
We would run wild through jungles
to lands where sun worshippers pray.
Side by side in the darkened room,
she never asks me for a miracle cure.
It is enough to know I love her
and everyday I love her more.